Supporters’ Appreciation Week

What Does It Look like be a supporter of your loved one?

• “Being a supporter means wearing a lot of hats, advocate, organiser, carer, motivator, and sometimes, the one who holds everything together when it feels like it might fall apart. It’s showing up every single day, even when your world feels upside down, because you love them and want to make their world as full and meaningful as possible.
• For me, that’s looked like driving 2.5 hours each way to the hospital every weekend, juggling full-time work from home, and raising two beautiful girls, one who was just 4 months old when Tommy’s accident happened, and the other 12 years old.
• It’s being his voice in appointments, advocating for alternative therapies, building connections and helping manage care plans and equipment, and finding a balance between supporting his independence and being there when he needs me most.
• It’s not glamorous, it’s raw, relentless love in action. Constant, messy, and fiercely loyal.” – Chloe
• “It’s good having my wife as one of my biggest supporters. It really shows how much she cares and loves me but on the other side I do see how much of a toll it takes on her from time to time.” – Tommy

Tell us about some of the highs and lows, the 1% wins and losses of being a supporter

• “The highs are those little 1% wins! The first time Tommy moved something new, got stronger in therapy, or managed something independently that he couldn’t before. Those tiny steps forward feel monumental and make every long day and setback worth it.
• The lows often come quietly, moments of grief, exhaustion, or watching him struggle with things that used to come easily. Sometimes plans fall through because accessibility gets in the way, or because the mental load becomes too heavy. But no matter how hard the lows hit, the highs always seem to outshine them. They remind me how far we’ve come, how strong Tommy is, and how much strength we’ve found as a family along the way.” – Chloe

Tell us about the biggest challenges and biggest surprises of being a supporter

• “One of the biggest challenges has been learning how to connect again, physically, emotionally, and as a couple. Intimacy after a spinal cord injury is like starting from scratch when neither of you knows what to expect. It’s confronting and emotional, but it’s also teaching us patience, vulnerability, and a whole new kind of closeness.

  The emotional load is another challenge, you’re grieving the life you had while building a new one at the same time, and it’s hard to give yourself permission to feel both. There’s also the constant juggling act of care, parenting, appointments, and just trying to keep “normal life” running.

  The biggest surprise has been discovering just how strong we are, not just Tommy, but me, our girls, and our family as a whole. Support doesn’t mean fixing everything; it means walking beside someone through every stage, no matter how uncertain it gets.” – Chloe

Tell us about the transition from wife, to wife and supporter throughout Tommy’s injury?

• “That transition was one of the hardest parts of this journey. Overnight, I went from being Tommy’s wife to being his wife and full-time supporter. In the beginning, everything was survival mode, hospital routines, medical updates, endless decisions, and no time to process what was really happening.
• I had to learn how to be his advocate and carer while still trying to hold onto being his partner. Over time, we’ve found ways to redefine what our relationship looks like. It’s different, yes, but it’s still full of love, laughter, and connection. Our bond is deeper now, shaped by everything we’ve faced and overcome together.” – Chloe
• “It’s very important to have a strong group of supporters around you, including friends and family and having reliable people there that can always help, even with just one phone call. Chloe is always there for me and is always helping as much as she can.” – Tommy

Tell us about Tommy’s hospital journey and what the process of change looked like for you and your family as he transitioned out.

• “Tommy spent 11 months in hospital before transferring to an MTA (medium-term accommodation). During that time, our weekends were spent on the road, hours of travel, quick visits, and countless goodbyes that broke and rebuilt us every time.
• When we finally bought our home in January 2025, I went straight into renovation mode. I removed walls, organised ramps, ripped out carpet and installed new flooring and worked closely with his OT to organise a care pod ( a toilet and shower in our garage) so Tommy could finally come home, even before our bathroom renovations were spoken about.
• It wasn’t perfect. The house was chaos, and nothing went exactly to plan, but it meant he could be home with his family. That first night together under one roof again was one of the most emotional, healing moments of all.
• Home looked different, and life did too, but slowly, we’ve built a new version of normal. One that includes therapy, equipment, appointments, and challenges, but also laughter, love, and hope for everything still ahead.” – Chloe
• “The hospital journey was quite rough, there are a lot of big changes you have to accept and a lot of physical and mental hurdles to get over but having the support from friends and family definitely helps a lot”. – Tommy

What being a supporter really means. It means choosing hope every single day.

It means celebrating every small win, grieving what’s changed and learning new ways to love and live.

It’s messy, beautiful, exhausting and extraordinary but its ours.

Thank you Chloe and Tommy for sharing your journey.